Calling all Good Enough Is the New Perfect fans in the Mizzou area! Hollee will be speaking at The Women’s Network luncheon meeting on Oct. 18 and would love to meet you in person. Details are available here.
Our generation was told we could be anything — and we heard, “You must be everything.” And so we became multitaskers, ferociously and relentlessly. We learned to boast about how much we could do at once, how we could schedule a parent-teacher conference, respond to a client email and 1-Click order the latest parenting book from Amazon, all while listening in on a conference call from the sidelines of our kid’s soccer game. We built businesses while we were breastfeeding and learned to use Skype to be two places at once. History and technology opened the doors to Having It All — but no one told us that “all” is something we’d have to define very, very carefully.
This week in Crain’s Chicago Business, Becky writes about Having It All — and how, once we rethink what that means, the relentless multitasking will subside.
Read more here, and share your thoughts. How do you curb the urge to multitask your way through life?
Check out this new article about Good Enough Is the New Perfect and interview with Hollee in the Washington Post’s On Parenting blog!
As I write this, it is 6 a.m. in the small apartment we’re renting in the inner west suburbs of Sydney, Australia, and Pete is making the girls some bacon and eggs while I putter around on my laptop. Last night, I ran to the grocery while he made dinner and put the girls to bed; the other day, I did laundry while he cleaned the kitchen. There was no discussion or delegation; we each jumped in where it made sense. In most respects, we’re moved past gender-driven division of labor. Neither of us is “in charge” of these things.
Which is why I read with interest this New York Times debate about whether dads are excluded and unheard when spats over parenting issues erupt in the media. (After all, some argue, we never hear about about the Mommy-and-Daddy Wars or have Time covers asking whether we’re “Dad Enough,” although my sister-in-law yesterday sent me a very funny “Dad Enough” spoof showing a man teaching a toddler to nurse a beer … )
It does seem that when we argue about parenting issues, moms lead the debates. Some of that is a vestige of old gender division. It may also be that women are more likely to get caught up in debates (and, perhaps, more likely to cast judgment) over parenting. I have to admit, I rarely hear men sitting around playgrounds whispering, “You know, he’s sending his child to Waldorf next year for preschool. Who knew he was into that kind of hippie education … ”
But I’m pretty sure none of that means modern dads care less about the big parenting issues than women. I don’t even think it means they say less, not when it really matters. They may get left out of news stories — let’s be honest, reporters are more likely to ask a mom what she thinks about a hot-button how-we-rear-our-kids issue — and they may spend less time talking about parenting with their friends. But these aren’t the real debates anyway. The real debates happen at home, when actual decisions are being made.
Dads are there — we just need to do a better job of reflecting it.
Editor’s Note: Becky and I have both received so many lovely notes about Good Enough Is the New Perfect, and today it dawned on me that it might be nice to share some with our readers. Hopefully, it will make you realize that you are not alone in this struggle! The first is from Mary in New York City …