The Year of Awesome

Today we welcome a blogging lawyer mom who is taking a journey that she calls The Year of Awesome. Thanks, Sara, for sharing! –Hollee

The Year of Awesome is about self discovery and metamorphosis. It is a time for me to put myself out there as MYSELF, no longer disguised by the cocoon of my other roles. It’s about recognizing that I am worthy of all things Awesome!

Sara

As I began this 42^nd year of my life a few weeks ago, I came upon this need to do something different. I was now officially a ’40-something’. No longer just 40, as if I’d just dipped my toe into the pond of mid-life. I was in that pond.  Well, at least up to my knees. And there would be no looking back.

But I did look back and reflected upon the prior years and how they have each shaped me. That was until I started to see a pattern. One that wove me into other people — my husband, my daughter, my work, my friends. I couldn’t find me. I had become the cliché of the Supermom:  wife, mother, friend, blogger, lawyer, coach, chef, teacher, volunteer, housekeeper, laundress, etc.  Nowhere in there was ME. I’ve been under the mistaken belief that ME cannot exist separately from all the other thing I am.

Everything I did was for someone else. Not that I’d let myself go (although it has been about 4 months since I got my hair cut, shhhh.)  But I couldn’t find me. It was MY birthday and there I was, fretting whether so-and-so would like the restaurant I wanted to go to on MY birthday.

At that moment I realized I didn’t exist. There was no Sara. And in my moment of reckoning, I did something so bold and out of character for those personas that I had become. I declared this MY Year of Awesome!  This is going to be a year about ME. It will be my year to make choices with my interest first, and not feel bad for putting myself first sometimes. This is going to be my year to not only find myself and peel back the layers I’ve wrapped myself in but also nurture the real me.

So what do I do now that I’ve proclaimed this my Year of Awesome? I’m 14 days in and already I’ve heard my own voice and stepped forward as ME, putting myself out there. And the response has been more than I ever imagined.  Each day is a discovery of how I can step out of my prior routine.

It begins with me. I’m trying to make a conscious effort to honor myself. I’m not sure what this year will hold for me because it’s not about crossing things off a list. Awesome can come to me or I may seek it out. And what is Awesome for me may not be for anyone else. And for the first time in a very long time, I don’t care if MY Year of Awesome isn’t what other people would want or think is Awesome.

After all, it is all about ME!

Sara Hawkins is a married mom of one 7-year old daughter. When she’s not searching for herself, she’s homeschooling, volunteering, lawyering, or blogging at Saving For Someday. She’s been a lawyer for 14 years, working from home for the last ten.